Monday, October 24, 2005



I'm Taking Over

Hey, the kid gets a blog. She even lets the imaginary dog take a whack at it. But what about me? I know you all love me. You want to hear form me. So to heck with her. I'm taking over.

And who am I? I'm the one who hauls her sorry self all over town. The one who holds her secrets. (That one she says about not eating so much fast food? Ask me how many McDonald's bags I carry in an average week.) I'm the one who has to put up with her and her friends and all her junk that she could live for a month off of. You know it-I'm Harvey.

And I do a lot for her. I push myself to the limits when she begs, "Please, Harvey, just get Mommy to work on time and I promise I'll get you gas after and I wo'n sreent do this to you naymore." Riiiiiight. And Mommy? What's up with that? She's three years older than I am. And those McDonald's bags aren't the only things in there. She's got, what, three changes of clothes, umbrellas, Homer Simpson, sunscreen, ice picks, flashlights, gas receipts, bag lunches, Cokes. What's she gonna do, go out in the woods and play survival? Don't even ask me when the last time I had a wash was. I can't remember.

And yet...I love her. I stand out for her, proclaim her Republicanism. Everybody knows who I am and that makes her happy. And I protect her- when there's strange people in me, I try to scare them off the best way I know how. We're alike, you know-neither one of us is what you'd expect us to be. We both have our little meltdown moments, but you aren't going to find a more loyal friend. I know she loves me, too. She wouldn't drive anyone else even if she could. So we'll keep on defying the odds together, for as long as we're both running.

11 Comments:

At 10/24/2005 11:03:00 PM, Blogger Jayleigh said...

OK I love the car post. You rock.

 
At 10/24/2005 11:33:00 PM, Blogger Jeff H said...

Um, perhaps it's time for an oil change? Air up and rotate the tires? WASH ME!!!

Come on, he loves you. Don't do him that way...

 
At 10/25/2005 04:44:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jill, Kelli, and Alice

J - Hooray for blog takeovers!

K - Another successful coup!

A - Hey! No fair.

J - Wait, I'm a Democrat.

K & A - Blasphemer!

 
At 10/25/2005 06:51:00 AM, Blogger Joe said...

Well I hope you both keep running a L O N G time.

 
At 10/25/2005 11:06:00 AM, Blogger Rhonda said...

Your so darn creative! LOL Austin's site is great!

 
At 10/25/2005 01:05:00 PM, Blogger ~Deb said...

My car has a problem. She's a big girl, and she has a drinking problem. Yeah I knew it once I met her three years ago, but now, with her favorite drink getting more expensive---I now face paying for her habit.

She's BBW, no wait...she's an SUV. She guzzles her drinks faster than I can guzzle my beer. We both have this problem, and we need help.

Thanks for listening.

 
At 10/25/2005 01:26:00 PM, Blogger Better Safe Than Sorry said...

i've actually grown to hate my car and she knows it, she is starting to give me attitude as well, she doesn't have much longer with me.
and why on earth do you have ice picks in your car? i thought you were in the south?

 
At 10/25/2005 01:28:00 PM, Blogger Darlene said...

I know a girl I think you'd like, her name's Christine.

You may want to ask Nettie how to spell 'reembmer'

 
At 10/26/2005 05:02:00 PM, Blogger BethInPortland said...

I have never named a car but I have friends that have. One friend's car is named "snow white" it's a big white beater. Another friend has named her car "joe." Maybe cause it's a real "joe-lopy." Hee hee

 
At 10/27/2005 11:30:00 AM, Blogger mrsd said...

What's she gonna do, go out in the woods and play survival?

Lol! Witty posting. :)

 
At 3/14/2006 08:14:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough
to be in theadult phone sex Olympics in the day time. adult phone sex

 

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