Gimme the Bad News First
The Bad: All your appeals have failed.
The Good: Congratulations, you're our 1,00th execution!
The Bad: Apparently procrastinators are making the Saturday before Christmas the busiest shopping day. Oh boy, we'll look forward to that one.
The Good: Um, we made our Black Friday numbers?
The Bad: You were struck by a car while walking in the dark.
The Good: Bet you'll wear reflective clothing from now on!
The Bad: You forgot that November has only 30 days.
The Good: Blogger automatically fixes it to Deccember 1st for time dyslexics like you!
The Bad: You watch far too much TV.
The Good: You can, um, amuse your friends by reciting commercials.
The Bad: Diseny canceled So Weird.
The Good: Smart people captured the episodes before they yanked it, so you can watch Fi again...and again...and again....