Tuesday, February 15, 2005

The Good, the Bad, and the Funny

Wow. When I came back and saw how many comments I had, I was just overwhelmed. Thanks for that, you guys. I thought I'd summarize the past few days, in that order.
The good:
*Coming back from Dulles last night, I was at the very back of the plane; I could see everything- the lights on the ground, and vast black stretches without any. And as we came into the city, the change from darkness into light. Sometimes, all I could see was darkness and the clouds rolling by. It was all so beautiful. And peaceful, somehow.
*I wasn't able to fly out until Sunday, so I went to work on Saturday. They kept asking me if I wanted to be there, but I said I'd rather be there than at home crying. I don't really cry normally, but I was kind of a wreck Saturday. But everyone was so supportive of me and I think it was the best thing I could have done. I had obligations while I was gone, but they just said not to worry about it. I make fun of those guys a lot, but they were there for me and I do love 'em. So Kristy R, Christy W, Crystal, Adele, Aimee, Kelly, and especially Jen, Candis, and Harmony- if I ever let y'all read this, thanks. For everything.
*I know where Kevin is, and I know that he is safe and happy and he isn't sick anymore. He is with God, and Kathy (his mom) doesn't have to worry about him anymore. He's in heaven, with his Meemaw, where nothing can ever hurt him again.
The bad:
*I think all his loved ones agree, they want Kevin to still be here. The rest of us have to bear the pain of losing him and not seeing him again, at least for a long time. There was so much more he wanted to do with his life that's never going to happen.
*I hated not knowing what to say to Kathy, James, and Alisa, his immediate family. I mean, what can you say? There really isn't anything that will take away the pain. The best I could offer was that people all over the world were praying for her- thanks for that, guys.
*The return to normal life is going to be so difficult. Alisa, my cousin and his sister, is in her senior year of high school. It should be a happy time for her, but with everything going on for the past two years, I think she's had a really hard time. I just hope that, as difficult as the return to life is going to be, that I can somehow help them out, because really, their life can never be normal again.
And the funny:
*On Ash Wednesday, as Kevin was passing, the chaplain was talking to Kathy. She told her not to be surprised if Kevin sent her a sign, like one woman who loved butterflies, and her family saw a huge cloud of butterflies. Kathy replied, "We're in trouble then, because Kevin loved chimpanzees. And I'm going to come home and find a chimpanzee hanging out in my tree!" Laughter in the midst of tears.


At 2/15/2005 07:41:00 PM, Blogger Jeff H said...

Glad you're back, sis.

Tears water the seeds of future joy, so don't worry about crying.

At 2/15/2005 07:49:00 PM, Blogger Paula said...

Welcome home girlfriend. I will continue to pray for Kevin's loved ones, especially you. I still feel your pain and wanted you to know I care.
Your Sister In Christ

At 2/15/2005 07:56:00 PM, Blogger Paula said...

Okay, this is too weird. The minute I finished posting my comment, I got off the computer and sat down with my 13 year old and on the tv on public television was a show on chimpanzees!!! Honest to God, would I lie? A sign from Kevin, maybe? I believe so, please pass this on to Kathy. I've got chills....

At 2/15/2005 08:15:00 PM, Blogger Bumbling Bav said...

I just came across your blog and wanted you to know that I was feeling for you and your tears.


At 2/15/2005 08:28:00 PM, Blogger Cori said...

And I am still thinking of you!!

At 2/15/2005 09:07:00 PM, Blogger Lori said...

Glad you are back, I thought of you the whole time. You were right in saying "there is nothing to say that will take away the family's pain..except be a support" I hope we can be a support to you too. It is always so hard to adjust to life after something like this happens. Love and prayers to you.

At 2/15/2005 10:19:00 PM, Blogger Darlene said...


I think it's so neat how some of us found you just weeks before this happened. We are blessed to share in your life.

My very good friend lost her brother when she was in high school. That was 20 years ago. One day I was over at her place and she pulled out this silly looking stuffed doll. She told me it was all she had left of her brother. I picked it up and his eye fell off. I was so horrified that I ruined the only thing he left her. She laughed so hard for so long and soon everyone in the house was laughing. It's amazing after 20 years they still needed emotional release. I hope a chimpanzee comes your way!

At 2/15/2005 10:51:00 PM, Blogger Paula said...

Oh, I forgot to mention that my 13 year old's name is Kevin too! I don't believe it was a coincidence.

At 2/15/2005 11:31:00 PM, Blogger Pusher said...

Cancer crap,I have had a brain tumer it sucks. And I believe at life is for the living and death never really comes. If all we truely live for is hope to see are love ones tomorrow then this is a good life.

At 2/16/2005 12:33:00 AM, Blogger Dirtyskin said...

Glad to have you back!!

At 2/16/2005 02:58:00 AM, Blogger Peas on Toast said...

Nettie glad you're back and have had some closure to your cousin's situation. You have a right to feel angry, sad and frustrated. Don't take more than one day at a time. Thinking of you xx

At 2/16/2005 12:02:00 PM, Blogger Amigo said...

Glad your back. Greatly amused by the chimpanzee part of the post.

At 2/17/2005 11:06:00 AM, Blogger Rhonda said...

Glad you made it back safely! All the emotions your feeling are healthy so dont ignore any of them. My prayers are still with you.


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