I'm the Weirdest

I'm sorry, but there's just no competition. I mean, who else...

Starts a cult based entirely on cereal?

Sort of looks forward to going in at a bloody hour to do inventory- "I can be annoyingly cheerful at 5 A.M., too!"

Sets the alarm clock to go off with Halloween sound effects, making the computer actually scream at the bloody hour?

Arbitrarily declares holidays for her minions to celebrate?

Never buys 2 liters of Coke unless they are on sale for 99 cents but shells out $1.05 for 20 cold ounces of Peach Fanta?

Has the hidden talent of white girl rapping, among other useless hobbies?

Doesn't think she has a Southern accent until other people point it out- "Y'all have a good afternoon! Evening. Whatever it is."

Reads all 627 pages of the new Harry Potter twice in three days?

Insists on taking hundreds of barely-distinguisable poses of her baby nephew- even when he was asleep?

Hasn't had her toenails painted the same color on each foot in three years?

Takes being called insane as a compliment, becauase she never wants to grow up?

Apparently enjoys speaking in the third person?

It's OK. I accept you even if you aren't quite as weird as me. And perhaps if you hang around long enough, you will begin to approach the same weird caliber. Or at least get a little farther away from that horrible thing called normal...