Saturday, March 26, 2005



Shut It

In Jeff's vein, I have put my creative skills to work, enjoy. And now I proudly present, How Harmony Doesn't Understand Me: A Tragicomedy. Cast: Nettie, an associate at Bath and Body Works who loves her job, and also loves to sing. Harmony: her slightly cranky but entertaining manager. Melissa: Another associate who can appreciate Nettie. Kristy: a newish associate who just goes with the flow. Got it? (please note: this is tongue-in-cheek. I LOVE my job, and all the people there. It's all in good fun!)

H: All right Nettie, I'm gonna need you to tone it down on the Amy Grant a little there.
N: Melissa, tell Harmony to stop picking on me.
M: Harmony, Nettie has politely requested that you cut down on the picking on her. aside: Because her stopping isn't going to happen.

N: Is merrily singing the soundtrack to the Sound of Music playing in her head as she stacks the shelves.
H: Shut it!
N: Shut what?
H:Your piehole!
N:I can't.
H:Do it anyway!

Harmony has left the area. Nettie continues her repertoire with "I Have Confidence."
H:Nettie, I told you to SHUT IT!
N:I didn't know you were there!
H:Well, here I am!
Nettie whirls on Melissa and Kristy, who are stacking the shelves behind her facing the door.
N:Why didn't you tell me she was there?!
Melissa and Kristy mumble something shamedfacedly about not having noticed her either.
N: You people aren't helping me here.

M:You know, Harmony, she's going to write all this on her website.
N:Well, not all of it. Whatever Harmony says has to be heavily edited.
M:Now, see, Harmony she can't put what you say verbatim!
H: Yeah, I need to work on that.

12 Comments:

At 3/26/2005 06:45:00 PM, Blogger Becca said...

and yes... the hills are alive with the sound of Nettie.... :)

 
At 3/26/2005 09:47:00 PM, Blogger Jeff H said...

You're so pretty,
and so witty,
you're so pretty,
and witty and bright!!!

Hey, if you end up needing a job, let me know. I'll see if I can get you on at the hospital (of course, you'd have to move to Louisville).

 
At 3/26/2005 11:25:00 PM, Blogger Paula said...

Girlfriend,
No one can "shut up" the song in your heart!!! I think your manager can't stand to see your joy shining through.

 
At 3/26/2005 11:36:00 PM, Blogger Nettie said...

Nah, she was just cranky because she didn't want to close and I was being waaaay too cheerful!

 
At 3/27/2005 04:52:00 AM, Blogger jonny ragel said...

"if you take away my amy grant I go crazy!"

huh?

"don't make me show you flying fist of Judah!"

you stole that from the fujis!

"so I did!"

so are you on some sort of lauryn hill trip next?

"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

*sounds of karate chops and such*

whoa! nellie- you didn't have to destroy the coffee maker!

"it was making you cranky. now take two of these and call me in the morning"

*nells hands cranky manager two imaginary 'chill pills'*

finis....(and yet to be continued in a blog near you)

 
At 3/27/2005 07:39:00 PM, Blogger John said...

Thanks Nettie (Good Scottish name!), for stopping by my blog and for your kind and encouraging comments, they are deeply appreciated! Love the site!Funny!
God bless you and yours!

 
At 3/28/2005 10:40:00 AM, Blogger Darlene said...

You make me want to get a job where people can raz me and I can raz them. I miss that alot.

 
At 7/20/2006 04:40:00 PM, Anonymous bath body works said...

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At 7/20/2006 06:31:00 PM, Anonymous bathroom towel bar placement said...

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At 7/21/2006 06:43:00 AM, Anonymous basketball recruiting said...

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Come and check it out if you get time :-)
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At 7/29/2006 12:07:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was wondering how my neighbour could save a fortune on her credit cards. Now I too have the secret.

 
At 8/11/2006 01:30:00 PM, Blogger Erik Mann said...

great post, i'll come visit again soon...erik

 

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