Yo, Bird!

Hey, bird outside the window: It's 1 A.M. All the other birds are asleep. All the smart ones. So why are you singing? No one's up to hear you. No one, except of course a poor college student who's up trying to study for her calc test. You're really annoying her. She thinks you need to get a new internal clock and chirp during the day like the other, normal birds. No one cares what you have to say at 1 in the morning. Especially when it's a human who would much rather be in bed right now than trying to concentrate and is being distracted by the Internet and the state of the world, and especially, YOU. She says, get a life and be quiet for once in a week. So do her a favor and shut up before she finally loses it.

The scary thing is, this actually worked.