Sunday, May 08, 2005



The Nettie Learns to Cook Experiment

What is it about being on a ladder that makes people suddenly need help? "I know you're busy...." "Oh, no, ma'am, that's what we're here for." Just cause my manager told me I have half an hour to make a wall of giftsets look pretty out of nothing, and I'm trying to help twenty thousand clueless men find presents for their wives that the day after Mother's Day are all gonna get returned, and helping all the new associates with horror stories about how Christmas was so much worse...But I'm never bored. "Marie, Kathleen thinks we're strange sometimes." Does Woody Woodpecker impersonation. "Sometimes. Sometimes I do. Now stop corrupting all the new people." The insanity never ends. I love it.

Everyone keeps laughing at me when I tell them I'm teaching myself how to cook. But I haven't made anything explode, burned the place down, and I injure myself much more at work ("Quit running over your foot with the cart, Nettie") than I have so far in the kitchen. Of course, I don't know how much making pasta and ravioli counts, since both have directions on the box and require little more than boiling water. Even I can do that. It seems like a lot of work for something that takes me two seconds to eat, but price is a definite upside to it. A box of pasta is 78 cents and it should be enough for four dinners. Add some Parmesean cheese and I'm good. My more ambitious projects will be chicken- although I got one of those Banquet meal-in-a-box things to start- and eggs. I like them over easy. Hopefully I will not make them explode. But I will probably stick with the Chocolate Lucky Charms for actual breakfast, since I don't want to have to go to work covered in the remains of an experiment gone bad...

10 Comments:

At 5/08/2005 09:59:00 AM, Blogger Blair said...

My only suggestion to a first time eggs over easy experiment would be to use a non stick pan, save cooking in cast iron or stainless steel for later...

 
At 5/08/2005 12:37:00 PM, Blogger jonny ragel said...

I'm sure I've mentioned my love for eggs over easy. I too have done some experiementing in the kitchen. lately with this amazing invention called the foreman grill. with very little skill you can render chicken soft and completely carniverously delicious. I can heat up tortillas on the foreman with precision rarely seen north of the streets of mazatlan. ok- I'm lying about that. but the grill works good is what I'm saying.

good luck with your cooking adventures. may your friends be full and the fire extinguisher remain lonely and anonomous.

 
At 5/08/2005 01:36:00 PM, Blogger Jeff H said...

The main thing to remember about eggs: don't ever try to cook them in the microwave. And if for some inexplicable reason you choose to ignore this advice, pay heed to this: Don't set the egg in there whole, turn the timer to 5 minutes on high, and walk away.

Then you'll truly have to worry about going to work " covered in the remains of an experiment gone bad".

 
At 5/08/2005 01:46:00 PM, Blogger Nettie said...

Is this the voice of experience speaking?

 
At 5/08/2005 02:09:00 PM, Blogger Becca said...

Oh darling....


me and my friends Hannah and Erika burned down the kitchen... actually THEY burned down the kitchen... while trying ot make fudge.


I have the whole thing on tape, I'll show you someday

:)

 
At 5/08/2005 04:56:00 PM, Blogger mrsd said...

I second the Foreman grill suggestion.

 
At 5/08/2005 10:19:00 PM, Blogger Blair said...

Two things -
First, scrambled eggs can be made in the micro wave, but you said over easy so I never even went there, but it can help in making a mock egg Mcmuffin... let me know if you want that and I will post the means to do so.
Second, Fantalicious, I have a two ingredient fudge that can be done in a microwave in about 10 minutes, it is pretty good for what it is!

 
At 5/08/2005 10:56:00 PM, Blogger Nettie said...

I'm open to all suggestions!

 
At 5/08/2005 11:51:00 PM, Blogger Jeff H said...

The voice is actually that of my late uncle. Years ago, upon purchasing his first microwave, he read the instructions stating not to put a whole egg (in shell) in the microwave. Being the curious type, he did so, with the result that he had to clean the exploded egg from every nook-and-cranny inside the oven.

 
At 5/10/2005 05:50:00 PM, Blogger Blair said...

Microwave scrambled eggs:

Take one egg, mix in a little salt and pepper (I add a teeny tiny bit of milk or water) stir and place in microwave safe bowl for one minute. Enjoy!
If you like cheese, you have a few more options... you can mix in some parmesan before you heat it up or any shredded cheese will do.
If you want to make a breakfast sandwich you can put it in between a sliced English muffin with bacon (the already prepared one is fine for novices and rocks in the less clean up department)... add a slice of cheese and there you go. You can even freeze these for a week if you wrap them well in cling wrap...
I already gave you the recipe for the two ingredient fudge didn't I?
What sort of foods do you like Nettie? I have tons or recipes and will gradly look through them for something easy.

 

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