Talking Back
"Microsoft Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience. " No you aren't. Who's this we, anyway? A group of bored Microsoft engineers who watches the oh-so-important stuff I do and decides every once in a while to mess with my head and send me fake apologies for it?
"What do women really want? How about their favorite movies with their favorite stars? 24/7 on the Lifetime Movie Network." I'm not even a typical woman, and I can tell you that what women really want is not to sit around watching depressing movies about women who get rare diseases and die beautiful deaths with all their formerly fighting in-laws gathered around them sobbing.
"Spell Checker- No Errors Found." What's this? No errors? I must not be doing my job then. I wrote two whole paragraphs that you actually liked. But why do you have to be gray when you announce this? Shouldn't you be happy that I spelled things right, or are you mad cause there's nothing to fix?
"Return of the Black Death!" I had a sixth grade English teacher who was really into medieval stuff. She also said that I would argue with a lamppost. I made a victim out of paint and Model Magic, male in the interests of accuracy with decency. The buboes erupted primarily on the chest and armpits- although he didn't really have any. Poor old John. The Black Death got him in his underpants.
Look beyond what you see...
posted by Nettie @ 10/03/2005 07:35:00 PM
18 Comments:
"I would argue with a lamppost" this I can relate to...(LOL)esp. when I was younger.
I use to be a great speller, but these days I depend on that spell checker and I still miss my words on grammar sometimes when I am thinking faster than I am typing. Oh well, hopefully ones look over it as I do with others.
Microsoft messages...errors...I have been getting more with this newer computer than my older one...what is up with that?? hummm
Take care....I want to hear you laughing and smiling....(smiling)
Bye for now...your friend, Suzie
Hey Nettie:
Now I can honestly say that not only can I come to your blog for humor, but for an education, too. I had no idea what "buboes" were - thanks for that graphic picture!
Microsoft owns us all.
Howdy, I'm back for a week.
I've been logging those frequent flyer miles. Woo hoo...free upgrades, free tickets, free peanuts! wait...I'm the one doing the flying.
My husband hate women's channels. He mocks the 'my baby's gone!' shows.
I can see you in a verbal duel with a lamp post! Engarde!
Oh, your spell checker does not have the right stuff to be a government employed supervisor. You need to have the mystical, all powerful red pen. You must have your staff change world shattering verbiage such as happy to glad or puppy to small dog. It's substantive alterations like that that will save the world. You need a better checker.
When I get to Heaven, there are two people I'm going to seek out and punch in the nose, in love, of course.
1. The guy who wrote those inane messages for Microsoft. "Warning! This program has performed an illegal operation and MUST be shut down!" I keep looking around for the police. And "Warning! This program has encountered a fatal error!" Fatal!? Oh no! It's dying!
2. The guy who invented shrink-wrap for CDs.
Oh you are wise beyond your blog Nettie. My parents got concerned when their computer said, "You have performed an illegal action." That's enough to make paranoid people go into hiding.
WE unplugged our computer to take it with us when we left getting out of the path of the hurricane. When we came home and replugged in the computer, it told us that we need a certain driver to reconnect our wireless internet. Well, needless to say, the Warner Cable people are coming out on Friday to reconnect our Internet. I am grateful that my daughter has a computer we can use to check our email and blog.
Nettie that was all over the place. Have you been drinking?
Maybe it is me. Maybe my thoughts are racing. I better go sit in the corner and be quiet.
that microsoft things annoys me and those movies on the women's network are just down right depressing, one more reason why i don't watch tv. i've got a bunch of dvd's for when i need a pick me up.
I'm with Darlene. Back in 1997 when I first got a PC, my computer said I performed an illegal action.
I kid you not, I got in the car and went to my friend's house to hang out while I called my hubby and made sure that in fact, the police WERE NOT on their way.
So embarassing!
You may not care for the Lifetime, but apparently there's enough women (and some guys too) who do watch the channel.
Pretty bad stuff and clears the men away from the TV in about 20 seconds.
MS needs a "dumb-ass statement" checker for all those Bush-haters.
Too funny Jayleigh!
I'm with BWH, you were all over the place. All that school and work and computer stuff, right? I've had serious computer issues today and thanks to my readers, I'm okay. I'm with ya girlfriend. I'd like to see those guys at Microsoft say that stuff to my face.
According to Les Nesman (WKRP in Cincinnati), "Women want Tupperware®."
Oh, and Joe: what makes you think either of those guys will be in Heaven?
You are cute and funny! That gave me a great chuckle. God bless you.
Nice blog. I love all the free adult movie preview. I will definately be back again... and again and again.
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