"Microsoft Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience. " No you aren't. Who's this we, anyway? A group of bored Microsoft engineers who watches the oh-so-important stuff I do and decides every once in a while to mess with my head and send me fake apologies for it?
"What do women really want? How about their favorite movies with their favorite stars? 24/7 on the Lifetime Movie Network." I'm not even a typical woman, and I can tell you that what women really want is not to sit around watching depressing movies about women who get rare diseases and die beautiful deaths with all their formerly fighting in-laws gathered around them sobbing.
"Spell Checker- No Errors Found." What's this? No errors? I must not be doing my job then. I wrote two whole paragraphs that you actually liked. But why do you have to be gray when you announce this? Shouldn't you be happy that I spelled things right, or are you mad cause there's nothing to fix?
"Return of the Black Death!" I had a sixth grade English teacher who was really into medieval stuff. She also said that I would argue with a lamppost. I made a victim out of paint and Model Magic, male in the interests of accuracy with decency. The buboes erupted primarily on the chest and armpits- although he didn't really have any. Poor old John. The Black Death got him in his underpants.