It's Almost July!

Hard to believe. I bought the new ZOEgirl CD I wanted today, even though I'm trying to save money....but it was on sale! I wasn't going to, but I had to do something difficult today, so I rewarded myself....My sister's leaving for Italy Friday. She can't find her charger for her digital camera since she moved, and even if she finds it, she has to get a converter...I didn't take a converter when I went to Europe last year. She was jealous that I got to go to Italy before her. It was so cool; we went to Germany and Austria too. I loved Austria, we went on the Sound of Music tour-awesome movie!- and we stayed in this really cute hotel. It was a nice end to my high school career...All the stuff that's going on for the Fourth is actually happening on the third. Maybe I'll just go out to the river. My family isn't big on celebrations... I hate having allergies. Everyone always trivializes them, but besides being incredibly annoying, and expensive, I could actually die from mine- in more than one way! Isn't that fun, boys and girls? But hey, Hagrid is allergic to cats too! Anyway, here's what going on, in case anyone's interested....
Watching- The Golden Girls- my favorite, I've got most of the episodes on tape
Listening- ZOEgirl, A Different Kind of Free
Pondering: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Wanting: A happy family
Eating: Chicken salad from Sonic
Wondering: If I'll end up like the mom in the Epi-Pen commercial who accidentally eats the lobster

Afternoon Blog

I was supposed to go somewhere, but now I'm not. So I thought I'd blog instead....it's strange, usually I'm doing this in the wee hours of the morning...Anyway, I'm going to be doing some stuff for Congressman Joe Wilson soon, I'd emailed them a month ago and they just got back to me. He's the U.S. rep for my area and running for reelection. We'll be handing out stickers at the Peach Festival, I was going there anyway, but I'll have to see if I can get better directions, I have NO sense of direction, but I get a T-shirt, you can never have too many of those...except when your candidate loses...so that should be fun. Tommorow's the campaign kickoff, I'll probably stop by. It sucks cause I can't eat anything at these things, like at Jim DeMint's they had this amazing spread that I couldn't touch. I don't eat anything unless I know exactly where it came from and what it has in it. I learned that the hard way when I ate something I thought was safe and had a lovely allergic reaction... but c'est la vie...I think I like this concept, feel free to respond...
Eating: luncheon meat and Vanilla Coke
Listening: Dido, Life for Rent
Pondering: If liquid calcium is really the next best thing to fluoride for your teeth, wouldn't somebody more authoritative than Arm & Hammer be telling us?
Watching: Earlier caught some reruns of Family Matters
I'll probably post again when the wee hours arrive...

Nothing Creative

My allergies are driving me crazy right now, I'm all congested and wheezy...Random tidbit- J.K. Rowling is allergic to cats and has asthma just like me, I find that interesting...Anyway, I figured out how to make links, they're kind of crude, but they should be on the bottom, check 'em out...and props go to chigirl, who put my blog on her favorites. I'm honored and when I figure out how I'll return the favor...Anyway, here's what's happening...
TV Watching: some national geographic special about dolphins, earlier a cool medical show on tlc about a domino transplant, which is really weird and complex
Eating: cap'n crunch choco-donuts and cherry 7-up
Doing: nothing useful
Pondering: the turnover of power in Iraq
Wanting: financial freedom, and to pass my written EMT test
Listening: ZOEgirl ...want new cd but must save money...
Had enough of my life for today? Okay. When I get back to school I'll be able to bum my roommate's digital camera. I'm almost looking forward to it...

Stuff Mart, Stuff Mart, Stuff Stuff Mart Mart.........

If anyone understands that reference let me know then I won't feel so sad...Found some cool new blogs to read...Thinking about my inability to wear clean pants. My friend Kate has tried to explain this to me but I still don't get it...Sometimes it amazes me how my brain works...I blame it all on my complicated birth...maybe someday I'll share that story...of course it requires talking about my mother obviously...be positive nettie you have the house to yourself tonight...of course they have to come back eventually... sometimes i look at the good relationships my friends have with their parents and it makes me sad....then some of my other friends' families suck more than mine...my i'm being introspective today...that stupid commercial for adult add is on again..."like the channel keeps changing in your mind and you can't control the remote." Kate asked me once if that's what my mind is like and I told her sort of, but not really, and it doesn't bother me most of the time, I've learned to deal with it. I zone out half the time, but I can concentrate when I have to usually...I miss my friends. Kate's in summer school up in Indianland and Meka's mom's been really sick...I did get to see Ralph (just a friend) the other day, so that was good, but most of my high school friends are from out of the country....i love cops. This woman has drugs inserted in one of her bodily orifices, it's wild. I can't imagine that life... I really hate those ovaltine commercials, especially the milkshake one. They're really creepy. It's like super-freaky perfect 50s housewife. Or something. Ah late night tv, makes me wax philosophical....

Another Lazy Day

which I don't have very many more of. I have one week before I have to start summer school, yuck. When that's done I'm finally going to be able to go up to Virginia to see my grandparents and then I have to move back in the dorms and start school...so it'll be back to the grind. I really want to do well in my summer class...Anyway, trying to decide what I'll do for the Fourth, it's one of my favorite holidays...there's a peach festival on the 3rd that I'll probably go to, and maybe go see the fireworks at the fort on Sunday. I always enjoy celebrating America's birthday, last year I had to work...have to get signed up for my written test on the 9th, but I can't call until Tuesday...I am so psyched I passed my practical, I was so scared I wasn't going to...I think what happened last time was I'd been sitting around being nervous, and epecially I hadn't eaten enough...I have to be really careful and not do that cause my sugar starts dropping and I get all freaky...anyway this time they called me right away cause I was retesting and I didn't have time to get nervous...and then almost immediately they called me back and told me I'd passed, and I was so excited, and hugged the lady...and then there was the fun AFTER the test....

Jim DeMint wins!

...for now, anyway. He's got the Republican nomination, but now the real work begins. We have to fight Inez Tenenbaum, who is popular and strong, probably deservedly so, but that's as far as I'll publicly go...I've had a really good week. My parents were out of town and I had the house to myself. It was nice not having to answer to anyone, and I actually slept better without them, which I guess shows I don't need them for security...I would love to be on my own all the time, but it wouldn't be possible financially...plus if I got sick suddenly like I have before there'd be no one there to help me...this may sound horrible but I look forward to the day I can be totally free of my parents, which won't be for a while...there's just too much history for there to be a normal relationship...I meant to talk about my good week. All Congressman DeMint's supporters have worked really hard, and most of them are taking it easy for a little while after the bitter fight...hopefully everyone, including Beasley's supporters, will be able to unite behind him, because we need to work for the greater goal...BTW, don't get offended, some of my closest friends are Democrats. I may be a die-hard Republican, but I believe it's important for everybody to get involved if they can...I had to drive to Charleston this morning at the crack of dawn to retake my EMT test, which I PASSED, thankfully, and then I went to the beach, which is a story in itself. And yesterday I found a CD, Newsong's greatest hits, with Arise My Love, which I think is the best song in the world. It's a really moving account of the Resurrection. Looking forward to The Passion of the Christ being on DVD, hopefully they'll make it so you can turn the subtitles off, I think that would be really cool. Anyway, I guess that's enough for tonight, but check out my new poem, it's called Justice; I really worked on this one, let me know if I succeeded.

Sporadic

...which is what my blog has been. My Internet's been down a couple of times, for a couple of different reasons...Anyway, I did the family thing this afternoon. It wasn't too bad, my mother sitting there yelling at us while my older sister and I sat there hitting each other, all in good fun...at least my parents weren't fighting. Much. But then tonight I went to see The Terminal with an old friend I hadn't seen in a while, so that was fun. Caught up on my sleep, went to bed at ten last night; I was exhausted from politicking. Our victory party on Tuesday's going to be at this nice hotel downtown , and those are always fun, talking to people and watching the results...Anyway, it was nice to have the day off, so to speak...go Jim DeMint (not that I'm biased or anything).

Justice

She stares,
trying to comprehend
what he has just said.
She cannot believe
he would propose
this defiant filth.
She rejects him.
That does not matter
for he will continue to satisfy
his urges, inflicting on
her unexpecting mind.
She seeks help
but no one will listen
to her victim’s tale.
And so he continues,
day after day,
ravishing her emotions
until she can no longer
bear it.
And they say
it was self-defense
but she knows better.
It was for all of them,
all of those he tormented,
for everyone who couldn’t find
Their way.
She knows she fought
for those who could not.
She knows, and she finds
her peace.

Go Golden Girls!

Tonight it's the episodes where Blanche throws a moonlight madness party!
My grandfather's shoulder surgery today didn't go as well as they hoped. They had to take out a lot of stuff, I won't get technical, but he's not going to regain total function. My parents are going up there on Sunday; my mother was really upset. I was supposed to go up there but I can't now. I know he'll adapt and be okay; he's been doing more than he should for a long time, so maybe he'll slow down now. It's just that they've been through a lot recently. But at least my mother's gone off her "you're pushing me away" diatribe. That sounds horrible, but I'm nineteen, for Pete's sake. I'm her youngest, so she doesn't want to let me go... I've mentioned this before, but I really wish I wasn't back at home this summer, just falling back into the same patterns...Anyway, the Harry Potter meetup I was going to tomorrow was canceled, so I'm going out politicking instead, had to dig out my Jim DeMint T-shirt. I love this business! We've only got a week till the runoff! Anyway, hopefully get some more of my writing up soon, I'm still working on one. Stay tuned!

Got Cookies?

In reference to yesterday's post...I went out and got some cookies...Mrs. Field's...so good but so bad...so soft and chewy and good...Anyway, getting off that...Baby-sitting tonight was a little more eventful than usual. One of the boys was convinced he saw someone outside...and while I don't think there was anyone, of course I was jumpy for the rest of the night, reacting to every little sound and watching the dog to see if he reacted (of course he'd be no help, they have a Chihuahua)-at least I'd put the six-year-old to bed...but having to deal with the power going out and the thunderstorm-and they subjected me to That's So Raven, urgghhh...I really like the family, they're cool...but the phantom intruder was too much- I kept thinking of those stupid commercials where the creepy intruder puts a kinfe to the window but Brinks Home Security saves them...I'm normally not that jumpy, I wasn't even watching any of my favorite true-crime shows, I'd seen them all, so it was VH1's Top 40 celebrity feuds..."Why? Why? WHY?" in the words of Nancy Kerrigan...but I'm rambling again. Other than that, boring day ha ha...Went to the pharmacy to fix a prescription they messed up on cause they couldn't read the handwriting...hee hee I'm probably going to be like that...and got my cookies, which I am going to enjoy and go to bed like a sane person.

Craving!

I want cookies really bad, but I don't have any. I have Little Debbie Cakes, ice cream, pudding, and popsicles...but I WANT COOKIES! Anyway, getting back to my sad life of watching TV...I'm watching this episode of What Not to Wear with this woman who dresses the same as I do, except I'm ten years younger so I can get away with it...I do not look forward to the day I'm no longer a student and have to enter the corporate world and actually be serious for once in my life...but hopefully I'll be doing what I love, so it'll all be worth it...but for now I'll enjoy my no-makeup, cartoon T-shirts, and SpongeBob flip-flops life while I can...hopefully have a good week ahead..It's International Harry Potter Meet-Up day on Tuesday...plus doing some politicking for Jim DeMint... should be fun stuff. Got some Rice-A-Roni today, but forgot to get any butter to make it with...I need to see Shrek 2 again, I missed about ten minutes of it the first time...but I hate to pay for it again...I miss the days when my sister worked at a theater and we got everything free...not being very eloquent today. oh well.

Work in Progress

I'm watching a Cold Case Files I've seen before, about this woman who tortures and kills her daughters...cheery stuff, huh? To the cool people who have been reading my blog: I always liked to write and in fact had several fantastic teachers who encouraged me to do so. Last year, unfortunately, my school hired a man who was very dense and had no social skills, i.e. he had no clue that my entire class disliked him and harassed several of my friends...and he did a poor job teaching as well...It was an AP class, but we spent most of our time discussing literature and writing essays...and he proceedeed to dissect the essays of those of us he deemed unfit (including a very brave Korean girl whom I thought was awesome for taking the class in the first place) and encouraged the others to do so also (although most were my friends and were trying to be constructive). Most of the time, I don't let what people say get to me, but it was just the constant barrage, even though it didn't take me long to lose respect for him. (BTW, he was fired the next year,and I was glad, because he was NOT meant for that job). Anyway, I went into college with the attitude of, "I hate writing, I stink," etc. and proceeded to have three professors tell me how good I was, so...But it was thanks to this site and the people on it that I actually got the courage to show my private, creative stuff again...Most of it's too long, but I'm working on finding things I feel comfortable sharing...So there's my soul-baring for today...thanks to Sassy and Mad Poet...I'm glad now I have a place to share my stuff...

No Excitement

Didn't do much today. Went to a big sale at the mall and got some stuff for me and some for my mom for her birthday later this month...Went and got Dippin' Dots, which is this weird, cool form of ice cream. They actually had my fave, banana split, which I proceeded to dump on my shorts..It is impossible for me to wear clean pants, they never stay that way...but I managed to save most of it. Jim DeMint made it into a runoff, since Beasley didn't get close to a majority..now the real work begins, we have two weeks..hopefully I'll do everything I can...because if S.B. wins, I'll have to campaign for him...the way we do it here is campaign for everybody on one big ticket called Victory 2004...that'll be a bitter pill to swallow...but I guess I'll deal if we don't manage, keep working and hoping. Went out to eat at Flight Deck, which is my favorite restaurant and didn't have any problems...I guess I should explain, last summer I realized I was allergic to shellfish (don't know how long I have been; I'd only eaten it once before that I can remember), and last month I had my first anaphylactic reaction, which is a really severe, life-threatening allergic reaction. Funnily enough I was in my EMT class, which is a story in itself..Anyway, since then, I've been hyper-careful, as I have to be, and have changed my life radically...I'm trying not to let it control me, so I might not talk about it in depth (unless somebody's interested), but will probably mention it, so wanted to elaborate...I have several other, mostly related medical issues, but my friends just say I'm 'special', so we'll leave it at that.

more from me

Hi y'all. I hoped you liked my poem, it's about a subject very close to my heart. I always liked writing and even won some awards for it, but last year I had a teacher who told me all year how bad I was, so that kind of deflated my passion...This year, when I went to college, all the professors I wrote for said my stuff was good, so I'm pretty sure my teacher was just an idiot...but I won't get into him. I got to go vote this afternoon, which was exciting. They didn't have any little 'I voted' stickers, though, I was disappointed. Nothing's come back yet, of course, just have to wait and see... I hope I haven't been complaining too much, I'm normally a pretty positive person, but stuff's going on that makes that hard...like having to live with my parents again. I know I'm more fortunate than a lot of people, but still...Anyway, thanx for reading, and have a happy day!

For Troy

This is the first time I've attempted free verse, or anything, in a while...I had the love and confidence in creativity sucked out of me, but I hope it's back-let me know...
This is for Troy.

Where have you gone?
You should be here.
Did you know he would kill you?
Why couldn't you stop him?
My life is forever changed
and yours is gone.
It has been eleven years,
yet I dream of you still.
Do you know of the holes you left?
No; you can no longer fill them.
Why? brings no answers.
I am left to cry and wonder
and try to understand.

"Hey man just play the gig, don't get involved in politics!- Politics! Politics!"

I'm watching Trauma: Life in the E.R. I want to be a doctor so badly, but at the same time I'm so afraid I won't make it. I've made some mistakes...Like that C in biology, which isn't totally my fault cause the professor lied about how much time we'd have...I should be fighting it, but I've tried and gotten the runaround...Watched Hannibal today. I've wanted to see it even though people said it was stupid, which it was, especially the ending. Jullianne Moore is no Jodie Foster. I think Jodie bowed out because she didn't like the script, smart girl...Been getting political calls all day...Got a load of ads the other day, and shredded the ones I didn't like *cough Beasley cough* I'm excited about voting tomorrow...I hope there's a runoff and Jim DeMint, my candidate, makes it in..then we'll go from there...Other than that, not much going on...I hope I'm not just talking to myself...Mine isn't as cool as other peoples' with pictures and poetry and stuff...Hang in there.

Okay, kids, it's whining time!

Hi internet, how are you? "Is anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?" I love everything Titanic; I was born on the anniversary of the day it was hit by the iceburg, and they found the wreck the year I was born...But that wasn't what I meant to write about...I bought my sister a CD that she picked out, Linkin Park. And bought it with money I actually earned, so that was good. I feel crappy right now...I made my mother mad again...honeymoon's definitely over. Part of it was her fault, because she wasn't listening to me and doing something that made me mad... but then I was yelling at her for something my father did, cause he wasn't there for me to yell at. He has no concept of personal space...I've told him not to mess with what's mine and not to eat what's mine...which isn't just me being annoying cause there's only certain stuff I can eat...but he does it anyway. He is so aggravating...We moved two years ago and he still hasn't fixed up our old house so we can sell it. He tries to do everything himself and ends up screwing it up...Anyway, he wasn't here tonight and we actually ate about 7:30...as opposed to 10:00. And we actually cooked...but then again it was a special occasion, my sister's birthday dinner...I suppose that completes the griping for today, but I'll be back...Remember D-Day!

Goodbye, Mr. President

I was trying not to let the novelty of this make me post so much, but I have to. Ronald Reagan is dead. That sucks. I did a report on Alzheimer's once and read his letter. Sure, it had been coming for a long time, but it's still sad. Even if I don't agree with his wife's position on stem cell research, and even if I'm too young to remember his presidency. He accomplished a lot in his lifetime, like surviving an assasination attempt. "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall." He was a very influential man; I guess this is my little memorial to him. His funeral is in Washington, and lots of important people from all over the world will be there. Even though at the end he didn't know anybody (a pretty safe assumption in late-stage Alzheimer's; there wasn't a whole lot of info coming out of their camp), there's always grief after someone dies. I just read an article earlier today that it might be weeks or months; I guess not. Long may he be remembered.

Birthday Bash

I have to get my sister a present. Her birthday's today; we went out to dinner last night. My parents gave her presents and I didn't. But at least dinner went okay; I hadn't been out in two weeks since my anaphylactic reaction (more on that later). It's just such a pain to have to go to the mall and wander around looking for something and spend money. I want to get her something she'll actually like. Maybe I'll go to Wal-Mart and hope for inspiration. I actually like my sister and I want to get her something good but at the same time I'm running low on funds, especially after my mother got p.o.'d at me and said I don't get any more money. But it's really a little late to start looking for a job. I guess it'd be good to get out of the house, away from my parents. Good thing my mother is computer-illiterate and won't ever see this. Anyway, my sister is coming over for dinner tomorrow, so I guess if I don't get anything tonight I can get her something tomorrow afternoon. I'm so pathetically lazy and cheap; it's so sad.

Isn't the Internet fun?

I have no life- it's summer, and I don't want to get a job- so I play online. I found this cool site that's mock trauma scenes and if you do them wrong, people die. And then you get sued. It's great fun. Also cool: Eric Conveys an Emotion (hilarious!) and Who Is That with Jeremy? (just Google it and you'll find them, I don't know how to link yet). Yahoo's Launch is awesome, you can watch videos for free on demand although they're missing some favorites. And mugglenet.com, which is an awesome Harry Potter site (duh); I met some cool people through it. How else can you answer a burning question on The Nanny at 2 am? Good stuff; I can't believe people managed to waste so much time before it.

Sleazy Beasley

I can't stand David Beasley. Nobody from outside South Carolina will know who I'm talking about, but for those that do.... If anybody remembers the big controversy over flying the Confederate flag over the state capital, that was during his term as governor. He screwed it up. And now he's running for Senate. David Beasley mucking about in the U.S. Senate is a really frightening thought. I have met him, and he's a smug, smarmy, slick, sleazeball (like the alliteration?) The worst part is, he has the name recognition, so he's got a good chance to win. I have done my part to prevent this. I hope that my candidate, Jim DeMint, gets a chance in a runoff, even after everybody abandoned volunteering for him after Beasley jumped in the race months after everybody else. For my SC people... vote Jim DeMint Tuesday! Keep our Senate safe!